This isn’t my first time giving birth, it’s going to be my third. But I have to be honest, it is the first one I feel that I’ve truly “prepared” myself for.
Of course with every pregnancy, I attended monthly, then bi-weekly (and eventually weekly) appointments with a professional, I took my prenatal vitamins, and I packed a birth bag. I did the basics to prepare for labor. But I was surprised this time around to realize how little I had done to set myself up for a positive experience with my first two. I knew I wanted to do things differently this time.
So I thought I’d share some of the ways I’m preparing myself for labor this time around.
Hire a Midwife I Trust
The first major thing I did after finding out I was pregnant was to seek out a midwife who I could trust, and whose values aligned with my own.
This will be my first home birth, so it’s my first time with a midwife rather than an OBGYN. But regardless of the type of care you seek out, it’s your choice who you hire. I didn’t know that with my first two, that may sound silly but it’s true. I called the obstetrics department at the hospital I was planning to give birth at and they placed me in the care of whoever was available. When I requested a different doctor, I was told none had availability and my doctor was my only option. He wasn’t a “bad” doctor, we just did not see eye to eye on some things, It made appointments uncomfortable.
This time around I scheduled a virtual consult with my midwife before deciding to hire her. I wrote out a list of questions, asked about topics and policies that were important to me, and spent some time talking with her to feel out whether we’d be a good fit. You’re going to be seeing this person about 12 times over the next 9 months and they’ll be your primary caretaker throughout pregnancy. Make sure it’s someone you like, trust, and feel safe with.
Hire a Doula
This is another first for me. I hadn’t hired a doula during my first two pregnancies and quite honestly had never considered doing so. When my midwife brought it up this time I was curious and started looking into it.
If you’re like me maybe you aren’t quite sure what a doula is or what they do-A doula is essentially a professional labor assistant. They aren’t medically trained but are there to be a physical and emotional support system during pregnancy and birth.
Given that I’m planning a home birth, and also will likely not have childcare (my husband will be mainly in charge of the kids), hiring extra support was a no-brainer. If the stars align exactly how I’m hoping, this baby will be born at night when my other kids are sleeping. But as we know babies come when babies are ready and they don’t care about your plans. So I have comfort knowing that if my husband can’t be by my side for every moment, my doula can. Ideally, I will have the support of them both but no matter what someone I know and trust will be at my side.
Even if you have a partner present, the support of a doula is still great to have.
Take a Hypnobirthing Course
I’m sure you’ll notice a trend here, but this is yet again a first for me. I had first heard the term “hypnobirthing” on a podcast. A guy was talking about his wife who had used the practice for her home birth and the way he described it fascinated me. So I went digging for info.
What is hypnobirthing? First off, you’re not “hypnotized” during labor (which was my first thought when I heard it). It is hypnotherapy, or talk therapy, designed to change how you (perhaps) view birth. It follows the belief system that your mind and body work together, as a team. Where your mind leads, your body follows. This is so up my alley, I fully believe in the power of the mind and manifestation.
The hypnobirthing course I took was fully online and was broken down into short video clips. It could easily have been done in a weekend, but I chose to spread it out over more like a week and do a couple of videos every morning.
The course started with a very in-depth, but easy to understand, description of exactly what your body does during labor and childbirth, a lot of which I hadn’t known before or not nearly as in depth. Then it goes through breathing and relaxation techniques to use during each stage of labor, positive affirmations to practice, and in general, brings a mindset shift in terms of how we view labor.
Personally, I loved every bit of it. The information, the empowerment, the positive encouragement practices. If there’s one thing I truly wish I had done during my first pregnancy, before ever giving birth, it’s a hypnobirthing course.
Reading/Watching Positive Birth Stories & Videos
This one goes hand in hand with the hypnobirthing course. You can do one without the other of course, but it’s strongly encouraged in hypnobirthing that you read, watch, and or listen to positive birth stories. It’s an amazing mindset tool to shift you away from the dramatic, Hollywood picture of painful, horrific, screaming birth. And shifting you towards seeing birth as a positive, empowering, natural experience. Something to be embraced, not feared.
Reading about positive birth stories from other women also helped bring me comfort throughout this pregnancy. We know that women all over the world give birth every day, but reading their first hand accounts of doing so really makes you feel like you’re not alone, you’re part of this powerful group, and that you can do anything.
We hear so many negative depictions of birth, I highly encourage trying to seek out the positive ones too!
Practice Relaxation Breathing
I never considered my breath or how I’d be breathing in labor until this pregnancy. I figured I’d just breathe however came naturally. Recently I’ve learned the importance of controlling and guiding your breath, especially for relaxation.
Hypnobirthing teaches a breathing technique to relax during contractions where you breathe in deeply for a count of 4, and out slowly for a count of 8. Doing this for 4-5 rounds will be the length of time of one contraction.
Now, I’ve yet to use this during active labor, so I can’t speak with total certainty on its effectiveness in that moment. But I have been practicing this technique for months now in everyday life. I do this breathing exercise when I have a few minutes to lay down, while I’m listening to birth affirmations, or while I’m relaxing in the tub.
I’ve also used it when I feel myself getting frustrated or overwhelmed with my kids-if I can take a second to step away, I’ll do a couple of these breaths. I have to say, it’s been quite effective for bringing a sense of calm to the body. I can only hope for the same during labor!
Visualize Labor
I’m a very visual person and I believe that what we focus on and visualize is very important to what we experience in the physical world.
Far too much of what we see and hear about surrounding labor and childbirth is negative. People are quick to repeat stories where everything went wrong in an attempt to “prepare” us. My entire life I’ve been told nothing besides the narrative that ‘childbirth is horrible and painful and we just get through it’. I mean, that’s sort of the image we’re sold of it aren’t we? It’s only reasonable that we’d be anxious about it if that’s what we are picturing when we think of childbirth.
Along with watching positive birth videos and photos I’ve also been visualizing my own labor and how I want it to be. I like to put my headphones in, lay in the bath or on my bed, listen to some pregnancy and labor affirmations and visualize everything about my labor. The dim lights, the calm environment, the birthing pool. I’ve been working to recreate that image in my mind of what birth is like. I know much of what takes place during labor and when is out of my control, and there will be a lot of “go with the flow”. But again, I believe in the power of having a positive mindset going into labor, and visualizing is just another piece of that puzzle.
Write a Birth Plan and Have Preferences Written
My midwife, doula, and husband are all aware of and on board with my home birth plan. So I haven’t written anything down, but the plan has been elaborately discussed! However, I did write out my birth preferences in case of a hospital transfer. If all goes accordingly it won’t be necessary, but being prepared is important. Though I want a home birth, I know there are unpredictable circumstances where my baby and I would be safest at a hospital, in which case I’ll want to make sure my wishes are communicated to the doctor.
Positive Affirmations /Guided Meditations
Over the past few months, I’ve been listening to positive pregnancy and labor affirmations, as well as some guided meditations for pregnancy that I’ve found on YouTube. The affirmations are great to listen to or read anytime throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll listen to them while I’m doing the laundry or while I’m laying down relaxing in bed. I also have them written out in places where I will see them throughout the day. The guided meditations require a little more focus, so I like to do those when I can set aside at least 20 minutes where I know I won’t be interrupted. I get myself into a comfortable position either on my bed or sometimes even in the bathtub (I plan to birth in water, so I feel like practicing these things in the bathtub just makes sense), put a guided meditation on and just allow myself to completely relax and take it in.
Eat 6 Dates a Day
This is one I had never heard of in my life. It honestly sounded a little crazy to me when my midwife even mentioned it. But upon doing a little research I found that there’s actually some validity to it. Studies have shown that consuming 4-6 dates per day in the final 4 weeks of pregnancy can help reduce the length of the first stage of labor, and can help the softening and ripening of the cervix. Date consumption late in pregnancy has also been shown to reduce the need for medical labor induction as well.
While I can’t personally speak on the effectiveness of this practice because I haven’t given birth yet, the studies, as well as testimonies from other women, are certainly interesting. Either way, dates are good for you so no harm can be done by eating them every day. And I’m willing to do anything that has shown to reduce any stage of labor!
If you’re interested in the actual evidence behind this I’ll post a link below to the study that was originally done.
Create Your Birthing Space
This one is a little easier for me to do since I’m having a homebirth. Customizing my space is easy, because it’s my home. I have a container of supplies set aside that I or Brett will pull out when I go into labor so that I can set the room the way I want it. I know that I want dim lighting, candles (battery operated), a speaker and headphones to play soothing music or affirmations, essential oil diffuser with lavender oil. I also have a birth pool that will be set up by Brett or my midwife when I want to labor in the water.
Even if you are having a hospital birth there are many things you can do to create a desirable ambiance. Diffusers likely won’t be allowed, but you can still use topical essential oils for relaxation. You can request the lights be dimmed, or bring an eye mask to block fluorescent lights. Battery operated candles may be allowed, but that’s something you’d have to check beforehand. You can also bring headphones or a small speaker to play soothing sounds, music, or affirmations (I’d also suggest asking the beeping machines to be turned down too).
Pack a Bag
No matter where you’re planning to give birth, it’s essential to have a bag packed I’d say no later than 38 weeks. Some of my top items to include in a bag are:
Pajamas/comfy lounge wear, a robe, slippers, an outfit to wear home (if you’re going to the hospital), nursing bra, your birth preferences/plan, headphones, phone charger, comfy clothing/sleep wear for partner (if they’ll be staying at the hospital with you), outfit to wear home/pajamas for baby, essential oils, toiletries, lip balm, snacks/drinks, car seat (installed into vehicle), hats & blankets for baby.
While a lot of things about labor can’t exactly be planned, like when it’ll start. You can certainly still prepare for it and go in with knowledge, support, and confidence.
Do you have any other ways you prepared for labor? I’d love to hear them!
