Why I’m Opting For A Home Birth With Baby #3

Before I dive into my birth plan and the reasons for choosing it, I want to make a couple of things very clear. 

I believe all birth is beautiful, valid, and worthy. Medicated, unmedicated, hospital, home, induction, or cesarean- all deserve major credit and praise. 

Personally, I have had two hospital births, both times receiving an epidural. Both times I had an uncomplicated, relatively positive, normal delivery. 

I’ve been a little nervous to share my birth plan this time around. Mainly, I’m worried about judgment or criticism, and potentially having negativity projected towards it. But this is my body, my birth, and my story. I have done extensive research, spent a lot of time weighing my options, and ultimately I’ve made the choice that’s best for myself and my family.

So at the end of the day, people’s opinions will be what they’ll be. All I can do is have confidence in myself and my choices. 

Enough about that, let’s talk birth!

“What do you think about having this baby at home?”

“Haha yea right, good one.”

“No, for real. What do you think about planning a home birth this time?”

“……….”

That’s basically how my first conversation with Brett went after I started considering the option of a home birth. Yes, you read that correctly, I am planning to deliver this baby right here in my own home. With my first two pregnancies, the plan was simple, get to the hospital and let the doctors and nurses take it from there. Home birth was never on my radar and quite honestly I had previously thought the whole idea was insane. I didn’t understand why anyone would actually choose to stay in their own home and give birth to a baby when the option of a perfectly fine hospital filled with medical professionals and pain meds was an option. 

Then 2020 happened. I, along with a lot of you I’m sure, could never have anticipated living in a pandemic time, let alone be pregnant and birthing during one.  Things are different now for everyone and everything. My birth would not happen the same way my previous two had, because the world had quickly changed. 

This brings me to my first reason, and also the reason I began exploring home birth in the first place…

1- We are living in a pandemic state and there’s no way to know where things will stand and what protocols will be in place when it’s my time to get birth. 

I’ve heard stories from other mothers about birthing alone, no visitors (not that it’s all bad), or restrictions around birthing partners in the hospital. Again, I can’t predict what things will look like in a hospital setting when I do go into labor. But I know that the best way to control how my birthing experience goes is to create it myself, in a place where I’d always have the authority to do so-My own home. So I dove deep into exploring homebirth. After careful research and weighing my options, it quickly started to sound very appealing to me. I began to uncover more and more reasons to head down this road. 

The next reason, and probably the most important factor in this decision was..

2-The commute to the hospital. 

We live in a beautiful, quiet, country neighborhood. There are many perks-getting to the hospital quickly however is not one of them. The closest hospital with a maternity ward is about 25 minutes away and a good chunk of that commute is down winding country roads. Undoubtedly the most uncomfortable part of both of my labors was that drive. 

With my second baby labor came on fast. Contractions turned from a “maybe” to “omg this baby is going to come any second!” within an hour. We quickly scrambled to get everything and everyone into the car and to the hospital. It felt like the most unnatural thing I’ve ever done and that sticks with me. 

It was almost as if my body was saying “wait, why are we putting ON pants and sitting upright? This is counterproductive.”That entire drive was pure agony for me. It felt like a 25 minute fight against my own body. 

At one point I remember pulling my pants partway down and cupping my vagina. Brett caught a glimpse of me, and [respectfully] asked me what the f*ck I was doing. To which I replied, “I have no idea, it just feels right!” My body was trying to birth my baby, but my mind knew the setting and timing were all wrong. So my instinct was to try and hold the baby in by any means necessary. 

To this day I think about what would have happened if we had hit traffic, there’s no doubt in my mind that if we even had so much as a 15 minute hold up, I’d have given birth in the car. 

When it came to weighing my home birth versus hospital birth options this time around, the commute and my previous quick labor were major factors. Did I want to risk it again? Do the 25 minute commute that I have no control over? Get into a car and do all over again what has felt so unnatural to me before? Honestly, no sugarcoating or elaborating is necessary here… I just wanted to stay home! 

Which brings me to my next reason for choosing a homebirth.

3- No overnight care is needed for older kids and pets. I get to sleep at home under the same roof as all of my babies. 

Unfortunately, we don’t have family close by to help us out with the kids. So when it comes to overnight care, it’s very challenging. 

When I went into labor with Jax, my husband‘s parents drove from their place about two hours away to pick up Nash and spend the night with him. It worked out well at the time. However, though they live only hours away, it’s on the other side of the Canadian US border. Currently, travel is complicated, to say the least, and we don’t have this option this time around. 

Home birth essentially resolves the issue completely. My kids will all be tucked into their beds in our home and so will my husband and I. 

To be honest this is one perk I love even if we did have help available, a big part of me feels content knowing that we won’t need it. 

4- Being able to create my own space and stay in the familiarity of my own home. 

The most conducive environment for labor is one that is dark, quiet, private, and warm. Not exactly what you get when you enter a brightly lit hospital filled with strangers and a plethora of sounds. Footsteps, beeping machines, fluorescent lighting, can all add to the stress of labor.  

Now I am NOT saying that a hospital is a bad place to birth, I certainly don’t have the authority to insinuate that. Nor would I ever want to create fear for anyone who’s birthing in a hospital. Every woman and every birth is different. What feels safe and natural for one woman isn’t necessarily the best option for another. There are also many ways to create a personal space for yourself in a hospital setting as well. 

As I mentioned before I have had 2 hospital births, both times having an overall positive experience. So opting for a home birth this time does not mean I am against hospital birthing in any way- definitely not. 

However, I love the idea of how much control and say I get this time around when it comes to my birthing space. It is my home, so it is also my rules. Everything from lighting, to scent, to the team of people I have chosen, is all set up by me specifically for me. 

One of the most exciting parts of planning this home birth for me has been planning out and visualizing the space I am going to create. Dim, soft lighting, as quiet as possible, calming ambient music, lavender scented oil‘s defusing. And perhaps most important, a small group of people who I’ve gotten to know and trust in the months leading up. Also, what’s more comfortable than your own home?

5- I want to have the option for a water birth. 

That brings me to my next reason to birth at home. I really want to have a water birth. I learned the immense relaxation power of water during my second labor. When I was certain that labor was starting I went into the shower. I started off standing then laying down and eventually ended up on all fours. Without even realizing it at the time my body was instinctually getting into position to birth my baby and felt safe to do so. But that wasn’t my plan at that time. So I got out of the shower, got dressed, and got in the car. 

I so desperately wanted to stay in that water, stay naked, and stay home. This is not to scare or deter anyone from going to the hospital when you were in labor. This is just an honest account of how I felt, and part of my reason for choosing to birth differently this time. And again, it’s worth mentioning that my second labor came on FAST. By the time I arrived at the hospital I was 10cm dilated and ready to birth my baby. It only made sense that everything about the trip and felt unnatural. My baby was ready to come, but I was fighting against it. 

So I guess that’s really two reasons. My desire for a water birth, or at least to have the option. And because if this baby is anything like her brother, she could end up being born on the side of the road if we decide to drive to the hospital. 

As I said at the beginning of this post, I believe that all birth is worthy and deserves to be celebrated. No part of me is choosing this birth plan for praise or recognition, I know there’s no trophy for an unmedicated birth (the only trophy I want at the end of labor is my baby anyway). This is simply what I have decided is best for myself and my family this time around. 

Over the past several months I’ve poured my heart into research, putting together plans, and preparing myself for this birth. I strongly encourage all expecting and future expecting moms to explore the options you have available to you. And to ultimately make the best decision for you, regardless of what anyone else has to say! 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I’m hoping to share more soon about how I’m preparing for this home birth. Stay tuned!!

Dana xo