Before I begin with my story, I first want to say that my story has a positive outcome. I know that is not the case for many women whose stories begin like mine. What I went through was stressful and extremely scary for me, but doesn’t come close to what many people have gone through. I do not know the pain and heartache that come with experiencing a pregnancy loss. My heart goes out to any of you who have had to deal with that and I would never compare what happened to me to the tragic loss you have to bear. I’m going to be candid about my experience with a subchorionic hemorrhage, and that may be triggering to some. I fully respect your decision to close the tab without reading any further if that’s what’s best for you.
It was Monday, May 3rd, and being the fun loving party animal I am, I hit the hay around 9:30pm, and thanks to first trimester exhaustion, I fell asleep immediately. But not for long. Around 11pm I woke up feeling like I had wet the bed. I’ve been known on occasion to pee my pants from a sneeze, but unloading my bladder in my sleep was something I grew out of in elementary school.
I turned on the light to see what was going on. Nothing could have prepared me for what came next. Blood had completely soaked through my pajama pants, and onto the sheets (both were coincidentally white that night, so there was no question about what it was).
I flew out of bed, my entire body shaking, my head pulsating, and a buzzing in my ears that sounded like power lines after the rain. I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. More blood came gushing from me as I just sat there horrified, with both hands on the walls surrounding the toilet trying to balance myself.
A million thoughts ran through my head. This isn’t supposed to happen. Please God, not me, not this baby. Worst case scenarios playing on a loop as I thought about the statistic that every woman knows so well, and never wants to become a part of. I was still in my first trimester, 10 weeks and some days, give or take. I know that tragically and unexpectedly many pregnancies do not make it through the first trimester. Judging by what was happening with my body at that moment I assumed what I think most people would, I thought I was miscarrying our baby.
I turned on every light, stood near the foot of the bed, and just started yelling for Brett to wake up. Once he finally did I told him “I think I’m losing the baby”. It took him a minute to gather himself and realize what was going on. Once he did he was sort of in the same mind frame I was. Stunned, and unsure of what to do or say. He tried to calm me and comfort me. Telling me everything would be ok, neither of us knowing whether or not it would be.
I got my phone and started the google searches.
“First trimester heavy bleeding”
“How to tell if you’re having a miscarriage”
“What to do if you think you are miscarrying at home”
Based on the information I read, I decided to wait until the morning to contact my midwife and go from there. Given that I was only 10 weeks along, if I were miscarrying, there wouldn’t be much of anything that could be done to save the pregnancy. I wasn’t in a life threatening situation and going to the emergency room at that hour by myself didn’t seem like the best choice.
After a lot of tears shed, and a rather restless sleep, morning finally rolled around. The first thing I did was grab my phone and dial my midwife. It was about 7am so my call went to voicemail but she called back within 30 mins.
She calmly explained to me that there were a few different things that could be causing the bleeding, none of which I had heard of before or understood in the moment. And then of course, that I could be experiencing a miscarriage. She told me she’d call in an emergency ultrasound and get back to me with available times. Three pm was the earliest time slot, which I took of course having no other choice.
The hours passed painfully slow, but all in a blur as I waited, watching the clock. Around 2:30 I left for the hospital by myself. My husband stayed behind with our 2 kids. Due to the pandemic, ultrasound appointments were for patients only, so as much as I needed the support, I had to brave this one alone.
Once I was in the ultrasound room, the technician started the usual protocol. Standard questioning, jelly on the abdomen, and began moving the wand around on my lower belly. Within seconds he said, “and there’s your baby’s heartbeat”.
I can try to express how I felt in that moment, but I don’t think I’ll ever do it justice with words. So much relief, grateful, so unbelievably grateful, and a little confused. I still don’t have an answer as to what’s going on inside my body.
After about 10 minutes of examination and Imaging, the tech left the room to consult with a radiologist. After another 10 minutes, he came back in with my midwife on the phone. She told me first off that my baby looked good, healthy, and strong. She then explained that they found a subchorionic hemorrhage, which is relatively normal, and rarely causes any problems. She briefly explained what that meant, said she’d email a summary of my results, and told me that I could essentially carry on about my life.
I trust her, I trust the doctors involved in my scan, but I needed more information, a lot more. Because to me this just didn’t feel like a normal occurrence. Let the google deep dive begin!
So what is a Subchorionic hemorrhage?
A subchorionic bleed (sometimes called a subchorionic hematoma) is a collection of blood between the uterine lining and the chorion (the outer fetal membrane). It forms sort of a pocket of blood, or as my midwife explained to me in terms I could visualize, it’s like a blood blister. It can occur when the placenta partially detaches from the original implantation site. The actual cause of these bleeds is unknown. But fortunately, the strong majority of them resolve themselves and cause no problems with the pregnancy.
Over the next several weeks I continued bleeding and spotting. My midwife assured me that if it didn’t get heavy again and wasn’t accompanied by cramping, there was nothing to be worried about. Easier said than done of course. I never got used to the spotting, it always made me uneasy. No matter how many times you’re told, no matter how many different professionals assure you, bleeding in pregnancy just feels plain wrong and abnormal. But I did my best to remain positive about the situation I was in.
A few weeks later I had a follow up ultrasound to check the size of the bleed. I was disappointed to learn that there was no significant change. But again, I was reassured that my baby looked great and was progressing right on schedule, so not to worry. By this point the spotting had completely subsided so that did put my mind a bit more at ease.
The next several weeks went on and we’re (thankfully) rather uneventful. The spotting completely went away, I began to feel those sweet baby tumbles, and I continued about life as usual.
At just over 19 weeks I had my anatomy ultrasound. Again, baby was great. Everything looked just as it should and the scan went about as good as one can hope for. 10 perfect fingers, 10 perfect toes, and all the good stuff in between. But my SCH was still hanging out and showed no sign of being any smaller.
I was told over and over again that most cases like mine would resolve themselves at 20 weeks. The subchorionic hemorrhage would essentially reabsorb itself, sort of like a bruise. So finding out just shy of 20 weeks that nothing had changed was extremely disappointing. This time however my ultrasound tech was able to show me exactly where the bleed was located and it really gave me perspective. Thankfully it was nowhere near my placenta, so there wasn’t a chance of abrasion and on the screen it looked rather small and insignificant compared to my baby. The visual really helped my mindset and help me keep a level head about the whole thing.
So here we are, 24 weeks in, with a beautiful healthy growing baby girl-and also a subchorionic hemorrhage. I’m choosing to focus on the healthy baby, which seems to be serving me well. A few months ago I had never heard of this type of thing, needless to say, it’s not something I ever expected nor wanted. But I’m fortunate in so many ways. I have complete faith that baby and I will be just fine.
